


Captain Julek of the Black Pearl

by Random_Nerd3



Series: Witcher Trash [16]
Category: Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, BAMF Jaskier | Dandelion, Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon & Jaskier | Dandelion Friendship, F/M, Feral Jaskier | Dandelion, Flashbacks, Gen, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier is Will and Jack and Elizabeth's pirate child and they're so proud, Jaskier | Dandelion Has Feelings, Jaskier | Dandelion Has a Past, Julek, M/M, Pirate!Jaskier | Dandilion, Post-Curse of the Black Pearl, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species, Protective Jaskier | Dandelion, Swordfighting, Tags to be added, Young Cirilla Fiona Elen Riannon, jaskier rescues Geralt from Nilfgaard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26125006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Random_Nerd3/pseuds/Random_Nerd3
Summary: While nursing his broken heart Jaskier finds solace in the ocean and the fine art of pirating. Taking the role of Captain Julek, Jaskier has no choice but to get his hands dirty in the Nilfgaardian war. While rescuing the Child Surprise he quickly learns there's more to Geralt's little makeshift family than meets the eye. Then again, it's not like he's the same bard from all those years ago.
Relationships: Everyone & Everyone, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jack Sparrow & Elizabeth Swann & Will Turner, Jaskier | Dandelion & Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, William Turner III & Jaskier | Dandelion, William Turner III & Jaskier | Deandelion
Series: Witcher Trash [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1601077
Comments: 9
Kudos: 107





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Uwu what's this?
> 
> I seriously need to stop working on wips. Let me know if you want me to continue this and I will! :) I love getting feedback from people, so launch away in the comments. This is just like, a test-draft so it's no where near edited to perfection. Hopefully this goes well, I definitely want to write more in this AU!

_Then..._

_When Jaskier feels his heart shatter at Geralt’s harsh words he physically stumbles backwards with a gasp. Geralt had turned around, the cowered refused to face the bard any longer. “Fine,” Jaskier manages to choke out. His voice was dry and hoarse. Geralt still made no move to turn back around. Pulling himself to his feet Jaskier shouldered his lute and kicked a rock across the gravel separating him from his once-loved muse. Sure, he probably should’ve waited before jumping into a situation he knew nothing about, but if Ger - no - if the witcher wanted to be alone, then Jaskier would ensure his wish was made. “I guess I’ll see you around Geralt,” Jaskier whispered. He knew the witcher heard him though. The man shifted ever so slightly towards the sound of the bard’s voice. Not wanting to walk down the monster-ridden trail unarmed, Jaskier ducked back into the cavern. The dragon’s egg sat dutifully in it’s nest, shaking ever so slightly. Kicking one of the unconscious Reavers over he reached down and drew their blade. The sword was well crafted, probably stolen, Jaskier mused as he thrusted it forward in a few practice strikes. Sure, his father was a bastard, but the man made sure Jaskier knew his way around a blade from a young age. Pleased with his choice he took the Reaver’s stealth as well, and attached the belt to his hip. The blade clicked in place at his hip. Turning around Jaskier ducked out of the cave and walked around it to the mountain path the dwarves showed them. When he was halfway to the rickety wooden path Geralt grunted,_

_“It’s too dangerous.” Jaskier rolled his eyes,_

_“Oh please witcher, I eat danger for breakfast.” Geralt still didn’t turn around, he remained in place, staring at the horizon. Ignoring the witcher’s presence Jaskier snuck around the cave with his bag strapped to his back and a sword at his side. Jaskier pressed his body flush against the cold stone of the mountainside. He slid down the bridge, dodging the loose boards with a few wide steps. A blast of cold wind blew across the cavern, shaking the wooden bridge. “Fuck,” Jaskier cursed as his foot broke through a cracked floorboard. His bag slipped off his back, but he caught it before it could fall down the mountain. Grabbing the wood supports with one hand he threw his bag over the hole and it landed on the other side. Jaskier swung his legs underneath him and used all the strength he could muster to launch himself over the gap. “Alright,” Jaskier said as he managed to grab onto the other side of the bridge. “Okay, that was stupid,” he muttered, “stupid but I’m still alive.” Pulling himself up the rest of the way Jaskier regained his footing on what little ledge he had left. Picking up his bag he pressed himself against the stone and once again inched his way closer to the mountain’s path._

_Once Jaskier landed on solid ground again he took a second to regain his bearings. Looking around him, Jaskier tried to remember which direction their group originally came up the mountain from. Though they took one single-file path Jaskier saw two openings in the woods, across roads. Making his choice Jaskier began to travel down the one he hoped was right. Turns out, his choice_ was _the right one. After saying a heartfelt goodbye to Roach Jaskier quickly continued on his way… Two months into traveling solo marked the time when he began to hear the whispered rumors of pirates setting sail in the continent’s waters again. Despite knowing this though, he couldn’t help but listen to the call in his heart pulling him towards the coast._

Current Day

Standing at the helm of the Black Pearl Jaskier was able to appreciate the beauty of his ship. When Jack ended up stealing a ship belonging to Nilfgaard’s navy, he left the Pearl to Will and Jaskier… along with a warning about what would happen to them if they got so much of a _scratch_ on the side of the Pearl. Behind him, Will clapped a hand on his shoulder. “Well _Captain Jaskier_ ,” the first mate said with as much sarcasm as he could muster, “what’s our heading?” Spreading his arms wide Jaskier gave his friend a wicked looking grin,

“We should be nearby the battle front,” He said. Jaskier spun the wheel and guided Pearl around the cliff shore of the Nilfgaardian territory. The wind whipped through Jaskier’s hair as the sea water sprayed salt aboard their ship. Choosing to ignore the fact that today was the anniversary of the mountain fiasco, Jaskier kept his eye on the horizon as the Nilfgaard front came into view. When Nilfgaard started taking to the seas, the pirates sought an accord with the Pearl, which Jack accepted at the cost of their loyalty. The last time they were on land, Jaskier heard whispered rumors weaving through the villages they plundered. Whispers of Nilfgaard searching for Geralt and his Child Surprise. Whispers of a battle that took place in Sodden, leaving a purple-eyed witch weak and alone.

“If I can ask, Captain Julek,” Gibbs asked, leaning against a rope near the wheel. “I mean, some of the crew are wondering, what exactly are we doing at a Nilfgaardian battlefront?” Jaskier smirked, he knew full well Gibbs was the one asking the question, and not the crew. Nevertheless he answered honestly,

“I might have a friend or two caught up in the lower floors.” Taking a swig of whatever was in the nearest tankard Jaskier ordered someone to drop the Pearls anchor. Will crossed his arms as he observed their surroundings.

“Jaskier, no offense, but sometimes I think you’re more insane than _Jack_.” With a laugh Jaskier responded,

“Why thank you! I do try my best, you know.” The spot he chose to hold the ship was covered by two long spiers of stone jutting out from the choppy sea below them. Jumping from the helm onto the deck of the ship Jaskier addressed the crew.

“Gentlemen, today we plunder Nilfgaard! Take the riches!” After a brief moment of pondering he shouted, “and kill the soldiers!” His crew yelled in response,

“Take the riches, kill the soldiers!” They shouted, raising mugs of whatever they could find in good cheer. With his crew distracted by boarding the dinghies Jaskier took the time to duck into his quarters.

“Close the door behind you, won’t you?” Jaskier said without looking up from his maps. Will complied and the door shut with a click.

“Jaskier,” Will said, sliding into the chair across from him. “I thought you swore against getting in the middle of the war.” Jaskier skimmed through his maps until he found the one he was looking for. It was one that listed all current Nilfgaard operations, they discovered it by fluke while doing a favor for Jack. Folding the paper up he slid it into the inside pocket of his jacket. Adjusting his captain’s hat Jaskier pushed past Will and jumped onto one of the lowering boats. Will landed in the boat behind him and drew his sword. As they rowed around the bend Will whispered, “captain you know I’d travel with you anywhere, but this is -” Jaskier cut him off by holding up his hand.

“Hush,” Jaskier said. Their boats creaked in the water as their hushed silence fell upon the dark waves. He glanced around them, trying to see through the sudden rising fog. Suddenly their boats thudded to a stop, skidding the boats against the sudden shallow waves. He climbed out of the boat, then cursed under his breath. With Will at his back he climbed the tall cliff on which the main chunk of the Nilfgaardian buildings were built. After pulling himself onto the surface he turned back and helped Will up. Once everyone from his finished climbing the cliff Jaskier drew his blade. Staring up at the stronghold Jaskier could see at least twenty guards, fully armed and dressed in the full get up. He signaled for his crew to stay under the cover of the trees. Jaskier rolled his eyes as he walked up to the fort’s door.

“You were never one to follow orders were you Turner?” He asked, teasing Will. His first make shook his head,

“We both learned from the best.” Jaskier grinned,

“That we did. How about you and I show Nilfgaard why they shouldn’t mess with pirates?” Will nodded and drew his sword. The two of them stealthily made their way through the base, taking uniforms from knocked out soldiers. When they finally got to the top floor, Jaskier frowned when they couldn’t open it. Will stepped forward and with a shrug he wrapped his knuckles against the large decorative door. Jaskier watched as the door creaked open by the hinges.

“Julian Viscount De Lettenhove,” the man behind the desk said with a grin. Will growled as he drew his sword and stepped forward,

“That’s Captain Julek to you pissant.” The Nilfgaard officer’s eyes widened in both horror and realization.

“You’re both _pirates_ ,” the man sneered. Jaskier nodded,

“And here I thought all of Nilfgaard were full of fools who took orders from a wannabe king.” The officer hissed and drew his sword. Before any fighting could begin Jaskier dug in his pockets and pocurred the Nilfgaardian map.

“I’m here to negotiate,” Jaskier said calmly as he placed his pistol on the desk as well. Will moved so he stood at the door, preventing any other soldiers to get in. The officer leaned back and crossed his arms,

“You can address me as Supervisory Officer Blink.” Jaskier smirked,

“So Blink tell me,” he began, “have you heard of witchers?” Officer Blink fidgeted uncomfortably in his seat, a dead giveaway. “Oh you have? That’s _wonderful_!” He clapped his hands like a child on Yule morning. “You see, I happened to catch wind of some… rumors, perse.” Officer Blink gestured for him to continue,

“I’m listening.” Jaskier grinned,

“ _Marvelous_. You see, I first heard of these rumors close to the Isle of Klinga, but they’ve traveled as far as the mainland. It made me wonder… perhaps there was truth to these rumors afterall.” People started baning on the door, demanding to be let into the office. Will regained his footing then gave Jaskier a nod, letting him know he was still able to keep the others at bay. Officer Blink leaned forward. Resting his elbows on the desk he asked,

“What rumors were these Captain Julek?” Jaskier unfolded the map to reveal the Nilfgaardian bases.

“The rumors,” Jaskier said leaning forward. He couldn’t help but smile at how Blink cringed at his smell. “Are that you have Geralt of Rivia and his dear Child Surprise held hostage at this stronghold.” Snatching the map back from Officer Blink Jaskier continued on, “now you see… my associates have no knowledge of the locations on this map, nor that I am in possession of it. Release the witcher and the girl to me and you shall be able to return this map to your Emperor, probably get a promotion for surviving a run in with me.” Officer Blink glanced at the map. From behind him Will shouted,

“Julek, we don’t have a lot of time!” On cue, the cannons from the Pearl began launching at the building. The whole place shook under the pressure of the blasts. Blink’s eyes grew even wider,

“You’re the distraction?” Jaskier stood and bowed mockingly,

“So Officer, what do you say?” Jaskier asked, a knowing grin on his face. A cannon ball blasted a hole into the office, and Will pulled an iron rod through the doorknobs, keeping the doors in place. With the rest of the building coming down around them Will and Jaskier leapt out of the hole in the wall and into the choppy seawater below them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaskier rescues Geralt, Yennefer, and Ciri. Confused by the situation, Geralt activates the law of parley. Thus comences a fight between a one Captain Julek, and the witcher himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the postive feedback! I really hope i end up finishing this, so far I don't really have a whole plot lined up yet, but it's sort of getting there.

The water swallowed Jaskier as the pressure of the cold crushed around him. With a gasp his head broke the water’s surface and he quickly whipped his head around. “Will!” He called out, hoping his first mate followed him into the ocean depths. “Will, where are you?!” Knowing Nilfgaard wouldn’t be far behind him Jaskier propelled himself forward and swam as fast as he could towards where the  _ Pearl _ was docked. Behind him he heard Will break the surface, kicking up the water as he swam alongside Jaskier. When they were far enough away from the cliffs Jaskier waded and turned around to see the other dinghies rowing towards the  _ Pearl _ . Through the ocean’s haze he couldn’t see specific people on the boats. Satisfied with knowing  _ some _ of his crew escaped, Jaskier followed Will and scaled the side of the  _ Pearl _ . When he landed he instantly recognised a woman who was in the middle of threatening his crew.

_ “ _ Oh you blasted  _ pirates _ release me from your grubby little hands. Where is your captain? I demand to speak to him!” Jaskier let Will take care of getting the  _ Pearl _ up and running, pushing for them to get away from the destruction left in their wake. Gibbs snarled and drew his sword at Yennefer’s neck,

“You should be so lucky we allowed you aboard the Black Pearl. Show your rescuers some respect huh?” Yennefer snarled, and flashed her eyes purple. To Jaskier’s surprise no one turned into a toad, instead the use of chaos just seemed to drain the witch even more. Geralt drew his steel blade and stepped in front of the girls. Jaskier was yet again grateful for the cloth he wore to disguise the lower half of his face, he adjusted his hat so it concealed his eyes from the witcher.

“Geralt of Rivia,” Jaskier breathed, his voice suddenly sucked from his chest. The witcher’s eyes narrowed as he leveled the sword at Jaskier’s chest. Will tensed beside him, but Jaskier signaled for him to stand down.

“You know him?” Yennefer asked, suddenly much more curious about their would-be rescuers. Jaskier nodded, but didn’t say anything in response. He tried to step closer to his old friend, but Geralt growled at him.

“I invoke the law of parley,” the witcher said. A hush of silence fell over the ship and suddenly Jaskier found all eyes on him. Raising his hand Jaskier said,

“We do not seek to harm you witcher. A mutual friend of ours enlisted our help in your rescue.” With a smirk and wriggling eyebrows he leveled his sword and asked,  _ “savy? _ ”Geralt just growled again, not taking his eyes off of Jaskier. Will patted Jaskier’s back then shoved him closer to the witcher. With a chuckle Will said,

“Well then Julek, it seems you’re at an impasse.” Jaskier twisted the blade around in his wrist with expert ease. Elizabeth, take the girls to the lower deck while these two have a cock measuring contest.” Glaring at Will Jaskier wondered if he should fight his friend just to take the man down a few pegs. Geralt drew is second sword as Elizabeth approached them,

“The girls aren’t going anywhere.” Geralt stepped more in front of the child surprise, Yennefer shifted closer to the girl as well. With a growl she said,

“No man can order me anywhere.” In response Will gestured to the vastness of the ocean surrounding them,

“That’s obvious enough,” he said deadpanning. He made a tsking noise, “unless you want to go back to your friends over in Nilfgaard of course.” Jaskier held up a hand before the situation could become any more violent. 

“Enough. If the witcher wants to parley, then we shall parley.” Will looked concerned so Jaskier added, “unless you have so little faith in your captain pirate.” Elizabeth stifled a laugh and Will shook his head,

“Of course not.” Julek nodded then turned his attention to Geralt. He planted his feet and raised his sword, the crew circling them to watch.

“Tell me dearest witcher, have you ever lost a sword duel?” He ducked as Geralt swung the steel sword just past the edge of his hat. In retaliation Jaskier lunged, and sliced Geralt across the cheek. He winced, the witcher didn’t need anymore scars. Neither of them did.

“No,” Geralt mumbled in response. He threw his silver sword, which Jaskier dodged easily, only to fall into a kick to the ribs.

“Julek!” Will called out, itching to join the fight.

“I’m fine!” Jaskier called back. He regained his footing the swept his blade wide. Geralt matched his strike and pushed him closer to the edge of the  _ Pearl _ .  _ Geralt always did like to keep his legs open wide, _ Jaskier mused as he rolled between them, losing his hat in the process. He popped up just in time to deflect a strike from Geralt’s steel. Jaskier’s blade scraped against Geralt’s as he pushed out of the cross hold.

“You’re trained,” Geralt noted as he countered one of Jaskier’s well aimed strikes. Jaskier ducked as he nodded,

“By the best.” Kicking off of a mast he flipped over Geralt’s head. The crew cheered as he managed to take Geralt to the floor and grapple for his blade. Jaskier’s mask slipped off in the grapple, but Geralt didn’t seem to notice yet. The witcher did manage to win the fight for Jaskier’s sword though. Kicking Geralt off his chest Jaskier stumbled to his feet. Turns out Geralt hadn’t been skimping on his training for the past few years. Then again, neither has Jaskier. All of the rum must be getting to him. Geralt used his arm to push Jaskier against a conveniently placed pile of crates. Jaskier’s long hair fell in front of his face as he looked up at the witcher. Geralt had one sword pulled back, while the other was pushed up against Jaskier’s throat. Behind Geralt Jaskier could tell Elizabeth and Will were itching to arm themselves to fight Geralt as well. Jaskier gasped for breath as the cold steel pressed against his throat. Geralt poised to finish him off, then his eyes met Jaskiers. With disbelief and a smidgen of hope laced in his voice Geralt asked,

_ “Jaskier?” _ Using Geralt’s sudden lax grip to his advantage Jaskier slid away from the witcher and into Elizabeth’s arms.

“Oh you  _ fool _ ,” Elizabeth scolded as she slapped his arm. Jaskier ignored her, in favor of staring at Geralt. Will tipped his head up to check on the cut on his neck.

“It stopped bleeding,” Will ruffled Jaskier’s hair. Jaskier grumbled in protest, but let his friends hug him. “Promise us you won’t be doing anything crazy like that again,” he requested, putting cloth any place Jaskier was spilling blood. Jaskier rolled his eyes and shoved his overbearing lovers off of him.

“You both know we can’t promise each other that,” he accused. To his surprise the young girl spoke up,

“Perhaps we should hear them out Yen. They seem rather nice for pirates.” To Jaskier’s surprise, she threw in a bit of a curtsy as he approached them. Gibbs ducked away as he saw Jaskier approaching them. Spreading his arms widely Jaskier bowed,

“My friends, welcome to the Black Pearl.” Geralt stood behind the girls. He whispered,

_ “Jaskier? _ ” Will appeared at Jaskier's side. He threw an arm around his shoulders then asked,

"So Julek, what should we do with them now? Throw them in the brig?" Will eyed the newcomers wearily. Though they had plenty of adventures themselves, Jaskier knew his boyfriend was antsy about having chaos and magically powered people on board. Geralt opened his mouth to say something, but his voice seemed to have disappeared. Jaskier looked around the ship until he spotted Elizabeth.

“Hey would you mind taking the girls to get some… better clothes? It seems Nilfgaard treats their prisoners worse than Davey Jones does.” Jaskier shuddered at the memory of being held captive by the pirate of doom. Will squeezed his shoulder and Jaskier was pulled back into the present. Speaking for him Will said,

“The captain welcomes you to the  _ Black Pearl _ . What’s ours is yours, but don’t expect to leave with as many riches you boarded with.” Geralt growled,

“What riches?” Will shrugged,

“Blades, gold, really anything shiny. It doesn’t take much to get stolen around here, just has to look valuable.” Gerat reached his hand to his chest, where Jaskier knew he kept his necklace… or rather, used to. Upon further inspection Jaskier realized the black cord was missing from it’s place of pride. Softening his eyes he said,

“You’ve suffered. Take the time to rest, I’m sure you’ll be able to seek payment for a job the next city we dock at.” Adjusting his hat he continued, “Elizabeth, show them to the spare quarters. It’s going to be a tight squeeze but I’m sure the fine lady wouldn’t mind.” Yennefer snarled at his implication, but didn’t protest. Elizabeth beckoned for the three adventurers to follow her to below the deck. Jaskier avoided Geralt’s eye contact as the witcher passed him and climbed the ladder out of sight. To Jaskier’s surprise the Child Surprise wrapped her arms around his waist.

“Thank you for saving us,” she said through a wobbly smile. Jaskier couldn’t help but smile back at her. She so  _ young _ , so full of life. Jaskier wished he hadn’t convinced Geralt to attend Pavetta’s betrothal ball.

“A child shouldn’t be bound to such a fate,” he said kneeling to be at her eye level. “I’m sorry young one.” She only smiled in response and hugged him again,

“Call me Fiona! Thank you for being a nice pirate Captain Julek.” With one final squeeze she followed Geralt and Yennefer to the lower deck. WIth the two of them left on the deck Jaskier let himself get wrapped up in his best friend’s arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yell at me on Tumblr: @Ranodm-Nerd-3


	3. Chapter 3

Once they were finally locked alone in the safety of the captain’s quarters Jaskier finally allowed himself to  _ feel _ . He shook with tears as mixed emotions of anger, love, and betrayal ran through his veins. Jaskier grabbed the back of his bedframe for support. He was well aware his emotions were rolling off of him in waves. Years of buried hurt, betrayal, and love all rushing to the forefront of his mind. He was grateful Will was holding back from his mother-henning. Jaskier just needed to take a few minutes and  _ not _ panic. “I’m sorry,” he apologized while gasping for air. Just like that, Will was next to him. Jaskier collapsed into his boyfriend’s arms.

“It’s okay,” Will soothed as he coached Jaskier through the panic attack. Jaskier’s chest seized as he realized he couldn’t breath, that there wasn’t any  _ air _ . Despite being balled in a fist, his hands started shaking uncontrollably. “Hey, focus yeah? Don’t think about anything else, just look at me.” Jaskier inhaled shakily, and followed Will’s advice. Blue eyes stared into chocolate brown ones and Jaskier couldn’t help but feel a little bit more in control. Instead of wasting his thoughts on the troubles ahead, Jaskier stretched his hearing and could sense the waves crashing into his boat. The sea air and the winds pushing the  _ Pearl _ further away from the mainland. Will let out a shaky laugh, “there you go Julek,” he said, tipping Jaskier’s head up. When his hands finally stopped shaking Jaskier dropped his head again, wondering what he did to deserve such a loving and supportive boyfriend.

“Thanks,” Jaskier said, voice barely above a whisper. Will hummed in response, rubbing a steady pattern of calming circles into his back. Jaskier let out a shudder, then a whimper, and he collapsed to the floor behind his chair. Will met him on the ground and pulled him close.

“You know you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, right? And if that dickhead of a witcher thinks he can get away with what he did -” Jaskier winced and cut him off,

“Actually…” He said, stretching out the word, “I might have how does one say… stretched the truth a bit? He didn’t actually mistake me for a monster and chase me out of a village.” Will froze, then leaned back and rested his hands behind him. Jaskier pulled his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. Resting his head on his knees he said, “instead he broke me. Twenty years of traveling with the man William,  _ twenty _ , and all I have to show for it is a collection of scars and a bad back. He left me because I was  _ weak _ .” After a few minutes lapsed in silence Will spoke.

“Well, if I’m being completely honest with you,” Will began with a mischievous grin. “Your back isn’t  _ nearly _ as bad as Jack’s is.” Jaskier playfully shoved his will onto the ground and straddled his waist. Will pulled Jaskier down and gave him a teasing kiss, sliding his tounge around Jaskier’s lips. Jaskier fell forward and placed his arms on either side of Will’s head. “And besides, I knew something was off. I just wish I knew it was because of a stupid ass witcher.” Happiness shined in Jaskier’s eyes,

“You don’t hate me?” He asked, voice just shy of being hopeful. Will smiled widely then nodded,

“Of course we don’t. We’d never be able to pull off half of Jack’s shitty plans if it wasn’t for you.” Jaskier chuckled then collapsed onto the ground, falling to the right of Will. Looking at him Jaskier caressed Will’s cheek with his sword-calloused hand.

“‘tis going to  _ suck _ ,” he complained, hitting his head against the hardwood floor. Just as Will was about to say something the office doors banged open to reveal a frustrated Elizabeth. She huffed when she saw the two of them on the floor. Joining them on the ground she stretched her arm out so it was underneath both Will and Jaskier’s heads.

“That  _ woman _ , I swear t’ god mates,” Elizabeth said, obviously exhausted. “She’s worse than Dave Jones himself. The child’s adorable though, said her name’s Fiona but I could tell she was lying.” Jaskier chuckled,

“Our stowaways giving you a bit of trouble dear heart?” He asked, leaning over Will to give Elizabeth a kiss. She rolled her eyes,

“You have  _ no _ idea. The witcher ‘twas quiet though… he asked about you.” Jaskier sat up,

“What’d you tell ‘em?” Elizabe shrugged, then stretched her arms until they rested behind her own head.

“Nothing he didn’t already know. Seemed pissed off about that.” Jaskier chuckled,

“Yeah, Geralt’s used to the whole fear-factor working for him, not against him.” He made to stand up, but Will held onto his arm in protest.

“Can’t we get five more minutes?” Will asked Jaskier, already half asleep. He yawned then turned onto his side, burrowing into the nape of Elizabeth’s neck. Elizabeth nuzzled closer to him and wrapped an arm around his waist. Will patted the ground where Jaskier was absent from. Elizabeth gave him a pointed look,

“It’s near midnight. The stowaways are probably already sleeping. Best wait until morning to talk to your witcher.” Jaskier crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes. With a frown he said,

“He was never  _ mine _ .” Elizabeth rolled her eyes,

“Yes, yes. You’re a big scary pirate captain, we know.” Will muttered something about Jaskier having an ego problem. Jaskier slid back onto the ground,

“I do  _ not _ have an ego problem,” he insisted. Elizabeth’s look got even more pointed. Knowing a battle lost when he saw one, Jaskier gave into his lover’s wishes and curled up on Will’s other side. Spreading his limbs like the Kraken, Will absorbed both Jaskier and Elizabeth, pulling them both closer together.

"Love you Jaski," Will muttered in his sleep. Jaskier smiled as he softly brushed loose hair out of the man's face.

"Love you too Will," Jaskier said. As he blew out the final candle he heard Elizabeth's voice whisper,

"We'll figure this out Jask. We trust you. If you want we can dump them at first light.make  _ him  _ walk the plank this time." And oh how that thought was  _ tempting _ . Jaskier couldn't do that to poor Finoa though, who knows what the girl has already suffered. Reserving that as a  _ tomorrow problem _ , Jaskier took to falling asleep while listening to the beating heartbeat of his two lovers.

\----

When the Miss. Swann finally left them to their own devices Geralt first checked the room for traps. The room itself was, as promised, small. A set of bunk beds were shoved up in the corner of the room, a third smaller cot was pushed against the wall with the porthole window. Geralt could see a few wooden crates shoved underneath the third box. The pirate crew probably cleaned everything up in a rush.  _ Pirates _ , Geralt thought with a rather impressive strand of curses after it.  _ "Fuck _ ," he cursed as he backed into a low swinging lantern, providing the room with light. He glared at Ciri, who took the top bunk and laughed at him for his foolishness. Geralt was forced to stoop low at points, so as to not get hit in the head by anything hanging down. It seemed the ship had taken fire in their escape from Nilfgaard, the window was broken and glass was littered in the bed. Upon his trap inspection Geralt forgot about the swinging lamp and hit it with his head again. From her spot sitting on the single cot Yennefer rolled her eyes. 

"Foolish witcher," she said, scolding him like she would a child. "Let me." Her eyes flashed a dark shade of purple. Waving her hands she let a small pulse of chaos ripple through the room. Geralt watch as she gasped, and like a rope pulled taught, her chaos snapped back into her. She grabbed her stomach and doubled over on the cot, falling to her knees.

"Yennefer!" Ciri exclaimed, jumping from the high bed and rushing to her side. Geralt was no expert in chaos, but Yennefer was decidedly not as strong as she made herself out to be. Whatever experiments Nilfgaard did to her took their toll. Grabbing Cici's shoulder for support the witch pulled herself up off the ground and sagged back into the cot. Ciri suggests through one of the wooden chests and pulled out a knitted quilt, which she then wrapped tightly around Yennefer.

"Who was that man, the captains?" Ciri wondered once Yennefer was snoring out the porthole. She hung herself upside down to look at Geralt. Grunting Geralt turned over in his cot, facing the wall. "Oh come on, you've got to give me something!" She exclaimed. When he didn't respond she jumped onto what little space was open in Geralt's bed and began poking his back. "Please Geralt? I promise I'll be good tomorrow! I won't even try to steal anything!" He didn't want to have this conversation with Ciri. Not now, not ever. But… if the captain really was Jaskier, they could add the pirates to their list of allies in the war. He grumbled again, it's not like Jaskier was  _ e _ cstatic to have them on board. Ciri managed to stick a wooden pole in Geralt's ear and he growled. Pulling the pole away from Ciri he snapped it to splinters.

"I'll tell you who he is just… never stick a stick in my ear again." Geralt said, tossing aside the splintered wood. Ciri nodded happily, then by candlelight he told her the stories of a bard named Jaskier, a poet and professor set to take on the world one shitty village at a time.

"Will Yennefer be okay?" Ciri asked long after the candle melted down. Geralt hummed as he looked at their wayward witch. She was currently curled up into a ball. "If Jaskier can help her… I'd like to think he would." Geralt hummed again,

"People change Ciri," he warned, half hoping for the same thing she was. If this new version of Jaskier was anything like the bard he once knew, perhaps there was hope for them both. The princess sighed,

"Not always. Grandma once said people's outsides change a lot, but once the heart decides what it wants… there's no denying the truth." With a giggle Ciri said, "she also told me men were stupid. Which I agree with." Geralt grunted, but didn't respond. "Goodnight Geralt," Ciri whispered. She probably thought he was already asleep. "I'm glad we got rescued," she said. Her bed creaked above him and her breathing slowed. Letting his eyelids grow heavy, Jaskier finally lowered his mental defenses and fell into a deep slumber.

_ Then… _

_ The coastal town he was staying in was peaceful. The townspeople refused to get in the middle of the war, staying neutral in hope of avoiding the violence. Jaskier himself had sworn against taking part in the war. Even when rumors of the battle of Sodden reached their tiny little town, he continued playing his new music. So, imagine his surprise when one day while he was drinking in the tavern, large fireblasts signaled they were under fire. Jaskier heard yelling so he glanced out the window. _

_ Pirates. A whole ship full of them. _

_ The bartender peered over his shoulder and gasped, “well I’ll be, it’s the Black Pearl!” James exclaimed. Jaskeir pulled the curtain over the window and began boarding up the door. As he helped James drag a table across the floor he asked, _

_ “What exactly is _ the  _ Black Pearl? _ ” _ The barkeep sucked in his breath. With a dramatic flare he answered, _

_ “The Pearl is the most feared ship in the ocean. Their captain is one of the most ferocious pirates to ever sail the seven seas.” A few bullets shot into the bar and Jaskier took cover under knocked over table. Around him the other townsfolk were arming themselves. “We be peaceful people, but if provoked we attack!” The barkeep yelled as the pirates broke down their barricade by chucking barrels at it. Jaskier dove to the side as one of the barrels was launched at the table he was hiding behind. _

_ “Take that!” Jaskier exclaimed, swinging a half-full bottle of rum at the lady pirate. She dodged his attack and kicked in his ribs. _

_ “Take the gold!” She called out as her comrades continued to pillage the rest of the town. Jaskier watched as she herself leapt over the bar and pocketed a handful of coins for herself. The man that entered with her stole a kiss then pocketed the rest. Jaskier caught his mouth watering at how handsome he looked. The man noticed Jaskier checking him out and smirked, _

_ “Seems ‘ta Eunuch over here has ‘ta crush on me.” Jaskier growled when the pirate tipped his head up with his sword.  _

_ “I am not a Eunuch!” The man reached his arms around Jaskier’s chest and tied a thick rope around Jaskier’s wrists. Jaskier winced when he smelled the foul stench wafting from the pirate. The lady pirate smiled, but it wasn’t one Jaskier could trust. The crew’s voices got closer to the bar as they shouted, _

_ “Make way for the captain!” Jaskier struggled against his bonds, but the damned pirate tied them too tightly. As promised, a man wearing a captain’s hat sauntered into the tavern. The captain observed the situation then glanced at the floor and gasped dramatically. Bending down he picked up the broken bottle of rum Jaskier used as a makeshift weapon. _

_ “Which one of you scallywags wasted a perfectly good bottle of rum?” The captain asked, walking forward. “Was it you?” He asked, pointing at Jaskier. “Will?” He asked, addressing the man who tied Jaskier up. Jaskier eyed Will again, the name fitted him. Nodding Will said, _

_ “Yes Jack, it was him.” The Captain (Jack?) leaned forward. He was close enough that Jaskier almost gagged at the fowl stench wafting from the pirate. The captain tilted his head to the right as though he was trying to remember something, _

_ “He looks familiar.” Suddenly the girl snapped her fingers and dug through one of her many pockets. Will glanced at her, _

_ “Elizabeth, you know him?” In response Elizabeth procured an old crumpled up paper, yellowed with age. She handed it to Captain Jack, who’s eyes widened when he opened it. Jack glanced from Jaskier to the paper a few times. Eyes narrowing he said, _

_ “We could fetch a pretty penny for your head. Can’t we…  _ Jaskier _?” Jack said flipping the paper around so Jaskier was face to face with a terrible hand-drawn wanted poster of his face. Jaskier shrugged as much as he could with his hands tied behind his back. _

_ “They got my nose wrong,” he commented, nodding at the picture. The wanted poster was by Nilfgaard, searching for any connections to Geralt and the Child Surprise. The price on his head was a thousand crowns. Jaskier was right though, his nose was comically large compared to the rest of his features. Jack glanced back at the picture, _

_ “It seems they did.” Turning around Jack pocketed the poster and clapped his hands, _

_ “Will, Elizabeth, take the Eunuch back to the Pearl. It seems we’ve got ourselves a very expensive bard. Maybe he’ll teach the crew a new song! If I hear that same one again I’m going to shoot someone.” Orders said, Jack picked up a bottle of rum and downed it immediately. He coughed as the liquid sloshed down his throat. “And grab some of that rum if they’ve got any left.” The captain grabbed an armful of bottles then left the bar the same way he entered the tavern. Will shrugged, _

_  
_ _ “You heard the captain, grab the rum and I’ll get the Eunuch.” Elizabeth nodded then filled two crates with bottles and lifted them without effort. Will dragged Jaskier to his feet as he protested, _

_ “I’m  _ not  _ a Eunuch!” Will just chuckled and shook his head, _

_ “Trust me, once he gives you a nickname you won’t be able to shake it. He calls everyone a Eunuch when he first meets them.” Jaskier felt something hit the back of his head, and fuzzy darts filled his vision as his world spun into darkness. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yell at me on Tumbler: @Random-Nerd-3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elizabeth pushes for Jaskier to finally have /that/ conversation with Geralt. Ciri continues to be precious, and well... Yennefer is suffering the consequences of her torture while being held captive.
> 
> Nilfgaard brews evil plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter than normal. I wanted to try writing from Nilfgaard's pov and it didn't really look out, lmao. Thanks for all the support. Feel free to leave comments and reviews, I love responding to you guys!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> ~R

The next week went by and they  _ still _ didn’t have any land in sight. Jaskier was impressed by how quickly Fiona and Yennefer had adjusted to life at sea. They picked up the language pretty quickly, and the girls kept cleaning up well during games of gwent. Jaskier was eighty-percent sure they were both cheating, but his crew hadn’t caught on yet so he left the matter alone. Geralt on the other hand, apparently hated the sea. The witcher had thrown up over the side of the  _ Pearl _ multiple times each day. Luckily the  _ Pearl _ was a rather large boat, so Jaskier was able to avoid him at all costs. He knew he was being petty, he knew he wasn’t exactly being  _ fair _ to Geralt, but he wasn’t exactly sure how to handle the situation. Sighing, he spun the wheel in order to try a different direction. “You’re avoiding things,” Elizabeth accused from her spot standing next to him. Rolling his eyes Jaskier said,

“I’m just keeping my eyes on the horizon.” Elizabeth grabbed his hand and stopped him from grabbing the wooden wheel. “I’ll take the helm, you go talk to him,” she said nodding at Geralt. The witcher did seem miserable. He sat near the bow of the pearl, face ashen and tinted green. Beside him Yennefer kept stealing looks at Jaskier and Elizabeth.

“I’m the captain you know,” Jaskier pointed out. Elizabeth glared at him and crossed her arms. Landing on her shoulder the parrot squawked,

“Speak matey, argh, she be truth tellin’.” Jaskier glared at the bird, but he could tell Elizabeth wasn’t going to budge on the matter. He wished Will was still on board, but his first mate had left on a quest to locate Jack. Will would’ve taken Jaskier’s side on this. Captain Jack had taken the helm of a stolen Nilfgaardian vessel they commonderred in a land scuffle with the authorities. They hadn’t heard anything from him for months, which wasn’t exactly concerning. With Geralt on board the  _ Pearl _ though, Jaskier wanted Jack back to assess the situation himself. With a sigh Jaskier stepped back and let Elizabeth take the wheel.

“Talk to him,” Elizabeth said with an encouraging smile. Jaskier nodded then walked the distance separating him and the grumpy snowman. He addressed his crew as he passed them, centered around a table while passing bottles of rum around. Pausing for a quick second he grabbed the bottle from Gibbs and took a large gulp of the harsh liquor.

“ _ Woah, _ ” Jaskier said, stumbling backwards a little. “We should get more of that!” He exclaimed, shoving the bottle back into Gibbs’s arms. Gibbs shrugged,

“We can try Captain, but the city was kilometers behind us. Probably take us at  _ least _ a few weeks to get back there.” Jaskier swore under his breath. Quickly taking the larger bottle from Gibbs again, he swallowed it. Keeping the bottle for himself he continued his trek across the deck.

“Excuse me Captain Julek, is it true you’re Geralt’s bard?” Ciri asked from her place sitting near Geralt and Yennefer. Jaskier froze, but nodded nevertheless.

“Perhaps once in another life my dear,” Jaskier said, approaching her. He caught Geralt’s frown as he pulled a chair closer to them. Fiona grinned,

“I’ve never met a bard before. Well, not one as good as Geralt says you are.” Jaskier handed Yennefer the bottle of rum and she took a drink, coughing as she did so. 

“Good to know you still can’t hold your liquor Yennefer,” he teased as he easily took another drink from the bottle. Yennefer glared at him in response, eyes narrowing in pettiness. She crossed her arms and leaned against the stack of barrels behind her.

“Why did you leave Geralt?” Fiona asked, making Jaskier spit out his mouthful of rum. As he wiped his mouth with a bandana Jaskier narrowed his eyes at Geralt.

“You didn’t tell them?” He accused, Geralt shook his head.

“No, I didn’t.” The Witcher sighed, “not the full truth at least.” Jaskier raised an eyebrow,

“So what  _ did _ he tell you?” He asked, turning to Yennefer. The witch shrugged,

“Just that after I portalled away… you both stayed a few nights on the mountain then parted ways once you reached town.” Jaskier eyed Geralt, who suddenly seemed very uncomfortable with the direction the conversion was heading. Fiona frowned,

“Geralt… you lied to us?” She asked, a hint of disbelief in her voice. Geralt looked down at his hands and didn’t answer her. Yennefer frowned,

“I don’t understand, how did a bard become a pirate?” Jaskier looked up at Elizabeth, who stood proudly at the helm. He ran a hand through his hair, then with a sigh he said,

“It’s a long story.” Yenenfer gave him a pointed look and crossed her arms. With slight smile he said, “the short version? I met up with the Captain Jack and his crew a few months after the dragon hunt. I gained their trust and they…” he trailed off. Fiona encouraged him to finish what he was going to say, so he did. “Will and Elizabeth, they became my mates. Saved my arse more times than I can count. I owe them me life,” he said, still looking at Elizabeth. Fiona’s eyes widened in sudden realization. Jaskier frowned as she quickly raced across the boat and took the ladder to the lower deck. Yennefer shrugged,

“Sometimes I don’t know what that girl’s thinking.” Jaskier nodded,

“She looks like you Geralt, she’s got your hair.” The witcher nodded with frown.

“Are you coming with us when we return to the mainland?” Geralt asked, surprising Jaskier by the bluntness of the question. Jaskier hesitated, choosing his words carefully he replied,

“I do not think that would be best… I’m not the same man I was and well, it’s obvious you aren’t the same witcher I fell in love with.” Geralt frowned,

“In love with?” He asked, the poor man looked like a confused puppy dog. Jaskier looked at Yennefer accusingly. She held up her hands in surrender,

“Don’t look at me!” She exclaimed, “I tried getting it through that thick skull of his long before you parted ways. He never believed me.” A small smile crossed Jaskier’s face as he placed his hands on top of Geralt’s. Looking at Geralt Jaskier said,

“We can’t be lovers Geralt, I couldn’t leave Will and Elizabeth like that.” Geralt looked down again,  _ damn those puppy dog eyes. Isn’t he supposed to be a ferocious wolf or something? _ Jaskier thought as his heart ached for the love he was unable to have. Tipping Geralt’s head up Jaskier continued, “I would like to try to be friends again though. Would that be okay?” He asked, watching hope glisten in the darkness of Geralt’s eyes. Suddenly Yennefer’s eyes flashed purple and she leaned on Geralt for support. Jaskier watched, concerned.

“What’s going on with you?” Jaskier asked Yennefer, reaching a hand forward to help. Yennefer coughed and a strange purple goop fell onto her hand. She wiped it off on her dress and insisted,

“I’m fine.” Jaskier raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. Yenenfer rolled her eyes, “look, Nilfgaard has a witch, she trained at Aretuza the same years as I did… they just uh… went a bit further than I thought they would. I’ll be fine after I get off this boat.” Jaskier was about to say something, but as if on cue Fiona returned from her room while holding something behind her back.

“We got a present for you! Geralt said it was special and you needed it, so when the merchant wasn’t looking I stole it!” Jaskier chuckled as he took another drink of the rum.

“You’ve got the makings of a true pirate lass,” Jaskier said ruffling Fiona’s hair. She shook her head,

“Thanks, but Yennefer says I’m going to become the best witch of all time. Here,” Fiona said as she took out the mystery gift from behind her back. “It’s yours.” Jaskier’s jaw dropped in disbelief as he felt the textured wood of Filandreval’s lute under his fingertips.

“I don’t - I mean -  _ how _ ?” He asked, looking at Geralt. The witcher hummed, but Fiona answered the question.

“When we were looking for you we ran into a marketplace. One of the merchants had it hung up as his most expensive item. We couldn’t afford it, but Geralt told me stories about you so I stole it! I think it must be some kind of elven magic, Nilfgaard tried to destroy it but nothing they did dented it.” Jaskier’s eyes watered as he ran his finger down the old strings of his lute. It had been so  _ long _ since he laid eyes on anything as beautiful as his gift from the elven king.

“Captain Julek, is everything alright?” Gibbs asked from the crew’s table. Jaskier nodded then called back,

“Everthing is  _ perfect _ Gibbs!” He tested out the strings, which still somehow sung as beautifully as they did in his youth. Jaskier plucked at the strings as muscle memory began to take hold over him. With a grin he turned to Geralt and asked, “hey Geralt, remember  _ this _ one?” As he began strumming the tune he played when they first met. Despite his protests, Fiona dragged Geralt and Yennefer to a more open part of the deck and the three started dancing with each other. Eventually, as Jaskier moved on to other classics such as  _ Toss a Coin to Your Witcher _ , the rest of his crew joined them.

“I’ve never seen you so  _ alive _ ,” Elizabeth giggled as Jaskier spun her around the  _ Pearl. _ Jaskier laughed,

“I’ve never  _ felt _ so alive!” He exclaimed before launching into  _ Fishmonger’s Daughter. _ Will ended up returning to the  _ Pearl _ with Jack a few hours into their little jig, and joined in the fun.

\------

“They  _ escaped _ ?!” The Emporer roared as Officer Blink stood awkwardly in the center of his throne room. Emhyr stood up from his throne and his long black cloak trailed behind him as he stalked toward the terrified soldier. Nodding Officer Blink stammered,

“Sir it wasn’t our fault!” He protested as Emhyr drew his long pure black sword and pressed it against his neck. Emhyr growled as his eyes darkened to pure blackness. Fringilla stepped out of place, approaching her master’s side. Emhyr narrowed his eyes,

“Who’s fault was it then? The Pointed Rock was our most fortified location,  _ no one knew where it was _ .” Officer Blink cowered as both Emhyr and Fringilla towered over him. Officer Blink hesitated then said,

“Sir, it was uh, pirates.” Emhyr shouted in frustration,

“Damn  _ blasted _ pirates, can’t they ever just stay in the sea where they belong?” After realizing his officer was hiding something Emhyr gestured, “well get on with it! I don’t have all day you know.” Officer Blink shifted uncomfortably,

“The pirate who lead the prison break was um… Captain Julek…” After throwing an axe across the room Emhyr gave Fringilla a wave and she snapped her fingers. With a squeak Officer Blink’s body bent into itself as the satisfying sound of crunching bones echoed throughout the throne room. As the soldier grew smaller his squeaks grew louder until his uniform fell into a pile of abandoned clothes. Emhyr bent down and shifted the pile of clothes to reveal a rat. He picked the vile thing up by it’s tail then handed it to Fringilla. She rose an eyebrow,

“What would I want with a rat?” She asked her master. Emhyr swooshed his cloak behind him as he returned to his throne.

“Read the rat’s mind, torture the vile little creature. I don’t care.” Emhy lowered himself back on to his throne with a satisfied sigh. Leaning forward he ordered, “find out who rescued the witcher and his Child Surprise, then  _ kill them _ .” Fringilla hesitated,

“But sir, what if the witchers assisted in the escape?” Emhyr groaned in frustration and ran a hand down his face.

“Kill them too then, I don’t care. All I need is the Child Surprise.” Fringilla disappeared in a cloud of smoke, ready to carry out her orders. 


End file.
